How to Do Something I Heartily Recommend NOT Doing

Wwwednesday: WTHeck?

In 20 simple steps:

  1. Park your car in the sun on a hot summer day.
  2. Make sure the windows are rolled up tight.
  3. Leave an unopened 12 oz. can of seltzer in a cupholder.

    It’s a good seltzer. You should try it. Just not this way. (photo credit: Mike Literman, I guess, who doesn’t agree that it’s good.)

  4. Go to work for 7 hours.
  5. Get back in your car and drive home with the air conditioning on for 15 minutes.
  6. Drop your dog off at home.
  7. Drive back to work for a meeting.
  8. Open the can of seltzer, reasoning that you don’t mind warm beverages that are meant to be cold, and that surely 15 minutes of air conditioning should be enough to make the seltzer drinkable.
  9. Take a sip.
  10. Open your eyes in amazement at the unique sensation of hot fizz.sun-in-blue-sky
  11. Note that the heat makes the added natural flavours “pop.”
  12. Decide to write a blogpost recommending trying this experiment at least once, for the totally legal yet entirely unique sensory experience.
  13. Take some more sips.
  14. Note that it doesn’t taste so good anymore.
  15. Keep drinking it because you don’t like to waste anything, especially water.
  16. Note that actually, it’s starting to taste and feel like drinking fizzy metal.
  17. Wonder if it’s possible for the aluminum to leach into the seltzer under pressure at high temperatures.
  18. Revise blogpost in head.
  19. Leave the half-finished can in the car.
  20. Go to your meeting.

There. Now you know what that experience is like so you don’t have to try it. You’re welcome.



9 thoughts on “How to Do Something I Heartily Recommend NOT Doing

  1. While you’re at it, would you be open to try some other things I’m hesitant about? Like what’s the point where milk actually turns bad? And if we smell the milk, what are we smelling for?

  2. Pingback: Milk | That's a Jenn Story

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