“Stuff grows here,” I said to the Professor, “but if the ducks [not our ducks, incidentally, but the “free range” ducks of our neighbours] don’t trample it, the crows throw it, if the crows don’t throw it, the rabbits eat it, if the rabbits don’t eat it, the chipmunks eat it, and if the chipmunks don’t eat it, the leaf-cutter ants eat it. Those leaf-cutter ants sawed radishes in half this spring. Maybe we should call them radish-cutter ants.”
After the Professor expressed his sympathy about the ants, I said, “They are [horrible]! They also turned my basil into skeletons . . . Zombie basil. And radish-cutter ants. What will they think of next?”
I think he was hoping for a more creative post than this one, based on the zombie basil at the very least, but all I have to say is that, in spite of all the above-catalogued pests, and also various moulds, blights and rots that seem to plague our veggies every year, right this second, we still have a stove-top that looks like this:
Last year I made 12 small jars of delicious green tomato relish. Too bad I just started a new semester and haven’t got time to can anything this year . . . I’d love to try making a salsa.