Last week I received a gift card in the mail from a good friend from the Nanny Days. She had sent this to me as an engagement present. On both sides of the envelope, in extremely legible (if legibility can ever be extreme) handwriting, she had written, “Do Not Bend.”
I have never seen an envelope so bent in so many directions in my entire life. (And yes, the card was bent, too.) It looked intentional, and although I partly thought it was hilarious, it is also contributing to my mail-carrier-paranoia. I know mail delivery people are just that–people, too–and that people make mistakes. But I also don’t personally know any mail carriers, and although I really like the people behind the counter at the post office near Now Church, they aren’t the ones who remove the post from my mailbox or put it in, either. These two facts make it really really easy to imagine that the people hired by the government to deliver the mail are either lacking some IQ points, or else a little passive-aggressive. I suppose if I were really honest, I would admit that my tendency to suspect the latter might also be at least tenuously related to the fact that when I worked at Starbucks, we used to give decaffeinated beverages to customers who we thought were jerks. Or who never tipped. The customer may always be right, but the purveyor of the service doesn’t have to like it–and quite often doesn’t agree.
All this makes me kind of suspicious about the book I eBayed to a guy in California–twice, because it got inexplicably sent back once and delayed both times. Also when it rains all day and I’m not home and a parcel is delivered to my doorstep but not in a plastic bag as it’s meant to be, or I get the mail of my next two neighbours and have to deliver it myself, I wonder what I or they ever did to irk our postal carrier.
Has anyone else ever experienced such postal-traumatic-stress? Or has anyone ever worked for the USPS to make a rebuttal . . . or tell stories about weird or obnoxious postal receivers?